In Memory of
Her Majesty, The Queen
Elizabeth II
1926-2022
As Godzilla swam from Monster Island, he hummed softly to himself. ‘The Queen, The Queen, I’m going to see the Queen. Have tea, Have tea, I’m going to have tea. With the Queen.’ His great baritone voice carried far across the Pacific Ocean and terrified all who heard it.
When Godzilla reached Panama, he simply could not wait the eight hours to pass through the Canal. He emerged from the water and approached the immigration officers. As he walked closer to the officers, they stepped aside and let him pass unimpeded. They had been notified that the King of Monsters may pass through their country.
The Panamanian Public Forces decided it best to escort Godzilla as he crossed their country. They had been kindly asked, however, not to harm the monster who had, recently, protected humanity. When he reached the city of Colón, he bid adieu to his entourage, and plunged into the Atlantic. He mustn’t be late.
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With London drawing near, Godzilla decided it was time to eat and rest. He came ashore in Gravelines, France, and fed at its nuclear power station. The French government was, understandably, not pleased. They, too, had been asked kindly not to hinder Godzilla’s journey. But they felt a line had been crossed and decided it best to have a stern conversation with their unruly guest.
So, a top military negotiator was dispatched to speak with Godzilla. The monster was found on the beach near the power station. He was laying in the sand getting comfortable. When the negotiator approached, the sleepy giant closed one eye, and then the other. As he drifted to sleep, deep baritone snores echoed across the Channel.
The negotiator stood perplexed for a moment. He then turned and walked to the military camp that had sprung up around the sleeping giant. They had been ignored, but not defeated. If Godzilla did not leave peacefully in the morning, they would have no choice but to remove him forcefully from French soil. This firm stance was relayed, politely, to the British Head of State. It may prove impossible to acquiesce Her Majesty’s kind request.
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As the light of dawn became visible, the King of Monsters finally began to stir. It was the perfect day. He would enjoy a morning swim and then, he would have tea with Her Majesty. To be on time, he would need to leave immediately. So, Godzilla rose from the sand, and entered the water.
The French President instructed the Navy to accompany Godzilla until he left their waters.
“It is nice having company,” thought the monster. “But I do hope they don’t slow me down. If I have to make the Queen wait, I would be so upset. I can’t get upset. Getting upset would simply not do right now.”
Determined to be on time for her Majesty, Godzilla flushed all negative thoughts from his mind, and focused instead on swimming. At his current pace, he should reach the Thames Estuary in less than a half an hour.
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While finalizing arrangements with the Lord-Lieutenant, it had been suggested that Godzilla be very careful when he entered the Estuary. He had been informed that Her Majesty would be displeased if the United Kingdom were damaged in any way.
So, Godzilla took a deep breath and centered himself. He was determined to be on his best behavior. When he emerged from the water, he walked with a great stride, on his tippy toes, through the Estuary. All along the Thames, he was so very careful to not disturb the water, or any of the surrounding properties.
When Godzilla stepped on land at Westminster Bridge, he breathed a deep sigh of relief. He had not damaged anything along his way. Except for the power station. Her Majesty would, almost, be pleased. Now, he had to get to Buckingham Palace.
“I can do this,” thought Godzilla. Delicately, he walked along Birdcage Walk, and Spur Road. As Queen Victoria’s Memorial neared, he noticed the Royal Protection officers who had been sent to greet him. The giant looked at his watch. The Lord-Lieutenant, would be here shortly to escort him to Her Majesty. It was at this point that butterflies began to flutter in Godzilla’s stomach.
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Godzilla stood tall, brushed himself clean, and approached the Royal Protection officers. Thankfully, they did not run. Instead, they stood their ground and waited for the monster to approach. Ordinarily, they might require paperwork and identification, but Godzilla did not need an introduction.
It was, also, not necessary for the monster to go through security screening. Godzilla was very dangerous, but Her Majesty had requested he be on his best behavior. There was no question that he would acquiesce.
“Good afternoon, sir,” said an officer. “I expect that you are Godzilla, King of Monsters?”
Godzilla, unable to answer in English, let out a snort.
“Very good then, sir, follow me,” answered the officer, as he began to walk towards Buckingham Gate. When they reached the gate, the officers entered the courtyard via the gate. They instructed Godzilla to carefully step over the gate.
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Once inside the courtyard, Godzilla saw the Lord-Lieutenant. He did get a little nervous, and insecure. For, while he was able to write English perfectly, he was not able to speak it. The giant pressed forward and stood in front of the Lord-Lieutenant.
Etiquette dictated how the Lord-Lieutenant should be greeted. But, throughout their communications, Godzilla’s disability had been understood and considered. The giant bowed his head.
“Good afternoon, Sir,” said the Lord-Lieutenant. “It is a great honor to meet you. Her Majesty has arranged to have afternoon tea with you on the balcony. Unfortunately, we cannot allow you into the Palace. We do hope that you understand.”
Godzilla did understand and nodded his head. There was simply no way he could enter the Palace without causing some damage.
“Wonderful,” said the Lord-Lieutenant. “If you would be so kind, please follow me.”
Godzilla nodded once more and followed behind as the Lord-Lieutenant guided him to the balcony.
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When the clock struck four, the door to the balcony opened. Another protection officer emerged and stepped to the side. There was a moment of silence, and then Godzilla caught sight of the most glorious figure dressed in pink.
Godzilla stood as straight as possible, bowed his head, and made eye contact. He tried his very best to say Your Majesty but found that only a low snort came out of his mouth.
Her Majesty remained very poised and said, “Good afternoon, Mr. Godzilla. It is wonderful that you were able to attend.” When Her Majesty sat down, one butler delivered a tea pot, while another brought desserts. “I do understand, however, that you may have already eaten.”
Godzilla did feel remorse for damaging the power station. There were a few downsides to being such a large monster, including his diet of radiation. He looked downcast and clasp his hands together to communicate his sincerest apologies.
Her Majesty appreciated the humble monster’s gestures, and said with a smile, “They say a plant-based diet can be quite dangerous.”
Godzilla immediately relaxed, and a huge smile came across his face. Her Majesty’s reputation for kindness and humor was indeed accurate. With that, he took a small jewelry box from his waterproof knapsack and presented it to Her Majesty.
Her Majesty accepted the gift and opened the lid. Inside was discovered a 35-carat blue diamond necklace. There was, as well, a note stating that the necklace had belonged to Godzilla’s mother, Majira. It would be his honor if Her Majesty might accept it as a symbol of his loyalty and affection for the monarch.
“This is very touching. Thank you, sir,” said Her Majesty.
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As the years passed, Godzilla held the memories of that day with him. They gave him strength and serenity as he fought his nemeses. After defeating Mechagodzilla in Hong Kong, he returned to Monster Island and rested.
One day, Godzilla opened the newspaper. The headline read: ‘The Queen Is Dead‘.
For a moment, Godzilla stared at the headline. When he was able to process the words, the King of Monsters let out a deep, sorrowful cry that was heard around the world.